Turkey!!

I had a great time Bon! I would have stayed and partied, but I really have to work tomorrow & since the limit has been lowered, no drinky drivey.

Amber, I have your camera. At least, I think it is yours. No naked pictures of big hairy strangers, so that was a plus.

I hope everyone out there had a good Thanksgiving, I know I have an enormous list of things to be thankful for.

And if you think you are one of those who have absolutely nothing to give God thanks for, just go in the bathroom, look in the mirror, & think, I could be... (fill in the sentence with someone who you know sucks worse than you, & don't tell me that you don't harbor thoughts about someone, who you think sucks)

Then thank God for his infinite wisdom in unanswered prayers.

Santa Baby

Well, I'm getting ready for the holidays & man, if the economy is so bad, how come everything is so freakin' high? I will not go to those after Thanksgiving sales at five in the morning, those people must be on crack. (and don't comment that you are one of them, because I'll just say, see, I rest my case)

Besides, if you get out there right after Halloween, you deprive them of their precious booty. Hard to sell what isn't there.

If I hit the lotto tonight, I'm wrapping a special gift for that special someone. Dog crap spray painted green. No need to explain for who it is for, a few readers will understand.

One year, my stepdaughter (who I haven't seen in over 6 years) was being a pain in the ass, so I kept telling her that Santa was going to bring her a bag of dog poop for Christmas. It didn't scare her into being an Angel, so on Christmas morning, the first present she opened, yep, it had a big pile of dog crap in it.

I filmed it, but the crackhead ex must have took that special moment. The look on her face, when she thought the only thing she was getting was a bag of dog poop, was, well, to say the least, worth it.

Now, before you start to have a rant fest, it didn't scar her, she got absolutely everything she asked for, she just had a small dose of Richard reality first.

Tomorrow I head down to my sisters for a feast. So happy thanksgiving everybody! No getting around it, you will probably eat too much & take forever to get the shit off of your thighs.

Oh, by the way Santa, if you are reading this, I have been a good boy this year (well, I haven't pushed anyone down the stairs anyway) so, this year, you know what I want.

And it isn't a bag of dog crap.

Seems familiar

Gore is totally crazy, but he may be on to something here. I believe he caught a glimpse of my boss running naked through the woods.

He was just shooting a commercial for Jack's Links, but as I already said, Al is pretty cereal.

Makes me want one!

Small World

Went & had the teeth cleaned today, just the regular 6 month check up, & who do I run into?

One of the ex wives of course.

We have kind of made peace with each other, but it is like those guys who were prisoners during the war & years later, they meet up with their adversaries.

You know, you don't love them for what they did, but you don't hate them cause they didn't kill you.

It is pushing 7 years since I have been divorced from the last one, & I was thinking that perhaps I should start dating again. No kidding, I was actually tossing this thought around as I headed into the dentists office.

You see, I think God has this way of bringing you around to reality at times, by doing things like this.

So... you want to hook up with another crackhead huh, well remember the years with this one!! Time to renew the he man's women haters club card.

She did give me a wonderful daughter though, but I'm sure she gets her temperament from my side of the gene pool, her Mother's side is simply too evil.

I know you will read this Amber, so keep in mind, this is satire in content (well, most of it anyway)

So Long Buck

Walter 'Buck' Buerger dies at 83
BY VALERIE SCHREMP HAHN
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
11/17/2009

Walter "Buck" Buerger, a former Jefferson County sheriff who served for 28 years, died Sunday (Nov. 15, 2009) of lung problems and heart failure at Baisch Nursing Center in De Soto. He was 83 and lived in Hillsboro.

Mr. Buerger retired from the department in 1992 after becoming sheriff in 1964, at a time when deputies patrolled in their personal cars and ended their shifts at 10 p.m. Mr. Buerger was described as easy-going — so easy-going that when he won his first election, he let the incumbent stay on for four years until he could get Social Security benefits.

Before joining the police ranks, Mr. Buerger played Triple A professional baseball for 12 years for affiliates of the New York Yankees and the Milwaukee Braves. He then held odd jobs and worked as a bartender in De Soto before running for sheriff.

Ed Kemp, now a county executive, worked under Mr. Buerger for 22 years. He said Mr. Buerger is credited with starting round-the-clock deputy service, the police academy, the crime laboratory, the K-9 unit, and bringing on the department's own patrol cars.


Kemp recalls one night on patrol he was called to break up a fight involving about 250 people at a river access.

Mr. Buerger arrived a few minutes later, found the burliest guy there, raised his arm and said, "My name is Buck Buerger, I'm the sheriff of this county. I've got trained marksmen out on that bridge, and when I drop my arm, they're going to start shooting. I want you and your people to get out of here, now. My arm's getting tired."

There were no marksmen, of course, but the crowd didn't seem to know that and scattered, Kemp said.

"I have critics," Buerger told the Post-Dispatch in an interview upon his retirement. "Hell, you can't stay anywhere for 28 years without making enemies. But I've tried my darndest to please the majority — and I have pleased the majority."

Mr. Buerger's daughter, Angie Holland, said her father spent many evenings in the community doing safety and police programs. But he never missed any of her and her sister's ballgames, and was a kind-hearted, supportive father who loved to joke and have an audience, she said.

Mr. Buerger was a Navy veteran, a member of Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Hillsboro, Amvets, the VFW, the Arnold Elks Lodge and the Missouri Sheriffs' Association.

Visitation will be Nov. 24 from 2 to 8 p.m. at the Hillsboro Civic Club in Hillsboro. The funeral will be Nov. 25 at 10 a.m. at the Civic Club, with burial to follow at Hillsboro Cemetery.

Among the survivors are his wife of 54 years, Sue Carol Buerger of Hillsboro; two daughters, Holland Buerger and Melissa A. Buerger, both of Hillsboro; five grandchildren; two great-grandchildren.

Memorial contributions may be made to BackStoppers Inc., P.O. Box 66927, St. Louis, Mo. 63166.

15 years

They handed me a recognition pin & piece of paper yesterday at our Wednesday meeting.

Now, I love what I do, & can honestly say that I'm damn good at it. But it was kind of a dog and pony show for the new V.P. of support services. I mean, after everyone received their own various awards, & the V.P. boogied, the one manager who loves to make me feel like his used condom, came over & said, "Don't worry about those nice things that were said about you, they didn't mean it."

Now I know he was trying to be facetious in his delivery, but comedy is not his forte. The above picture is what he seems to do best.

They have had these efficiency experts at the pisser for awhile & they have been having mass meetings to implement their recommendations (or ignore them) My department thinks we are just a bunch of stupid people who voted for Obama (of course, there are those in the shop, but a lot of them are from Illinois)

But I digress:

What I'm hoping is, that they realize that we are short on those who do, & fat on those who resemble a Hirudo medicinalis.

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday. I called and bullshitted with him before I headed into work. I should have just took off, & went down & had beers with him.

Better than a pin and an insult.