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Thursday, June 16, 2016

Missouri is melting.

The heat is on around my neck of the woods & while I sometimes enjoy sweat running down the crack of my ass...I'm wondering what July & August are going to be like.

When I was a kid, I use to hate wearing socks in my keds. While I didn't care & went barefoot in the Summer quite a lot (I could walk through hot asphalt & not blink an eye) But when it got hot, my feet would sweat & it would cause my shoes to stink.

Of course, running through water & wading through the storm drains might have contributed to that issue as well.

Regardless, one Summer, we were on our merry way to Branson for a family vacation. Back then, hardly any cars had air conditioners. You just drove fast with the windows down. Not too far into our adventure, my Dad started asking my Mom, what was the horrible smell he just couldn't escape from? Well, my sister couldn't wait to chime in.....

It's Joey's feet.

Dad looked in the mirror & said...Is that true? Put your damn shoes on. I replied, they are on.. He said, take one off & hand it up here. Which I promptly obeyed. Even before he could get it close to his face, he liked to gagged & tossed it right out the window. Give me the other one...which followed the first. He then made me lie down & put my feet out the window, telling me he would buy me a new pair of shoes when we stopped somewhere.

That was the Summer of me ending not wearing socks, or suffer the beating of my life. It did stop my feet from ever reaching that ultimate vile top of the pile fragrance, that I so enjoyed achieving. Why may you ask did I like it? Well, every time my sister gave me shit over anything, I would stick one of my feet right in her face, or rub it in her hair...which sent her ballistic.

If I timed it right, I could catch her running her mouth & plop a toe right in there.