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Saturday, November 19, 2016

I noticed...

That my posts were getting ranty. But come on, the world is so full of people whose parents should have been taught contraceptive practices earlier in life & we would be so much better off.

The last couple of days, we had a water shut down & had some things fixed in the process. This caused lots of people to be little bitchy twigs. Those who didn't have to deal with them, could care less, but yours truly was one who had to wade among them, while maintaining a pleasant disposition. They want the problems fixed, they just do not want to be inconvenienced in the process.

So, I have been one tired old dog when I make it home. I'll be back at the grind in the morning, but tonight I enjoy some cold ones & jam some tunes & will try not to drive away anyone from expecting to read something humorous. I have been restricted in enlightening you to anything at my current place of employment. (no sense of humor)

Never fear, I have a plethora of things that I have done on a daily basis to lighten up the crappy situations we all have to sometimes face. So, in the spirit of trying to get back on track & make some folks smile, I'll tell you a little story of one place I worked many years ago. I was working as a chef at a restaurant & we had a lady (who has since passed away) but was a young woman then. She was the cleaning lady & she called me out from behind the counter one night, bitching up a storm about something that was wrong in the men's restroom.

I walked in & right in the wall mounted urinal, some asshole had taken a shit. Over my shoulder, she said, I am not cleaning that up! I told her, don't worry, I'll take care of it. I grabbed some towels & put on some gloves & disposed of it in the toilet. I washed my hands & then walked into the foyer of the building. We had a candy machine out there. It was one of those old mechanical ones where you dropped a couple of quarters in the slot & pulled out the handle, & your selection would drop.

I bought a Baby Ruth & unwrapped it & laid it in my hands on top of some paper towels. I walked around through our dining room side & took a little soda from the dispenser & moistened the bar. I then found her in the back of the employees area (still bitching about how nasty men were)

I walked up to her & there were about five other employees standing around. I held it out & said, here it is, what do you want me to do with it. She looked at me & started screaming...take that away from me!!!

I said, calm down, it is only a turd. There is nothing wrong with it. Then, I picked it up & said, see & munched down on the candy bar.

The look on her face was priceless & she screamed & ran out the back door of the building into the parking lot, screaming something about how fucked up White folks were.

I had to go find her & it took me twenty minutes to convince her that it was a joke & I didn't really eat any shit. Then, she was pissed off at me for about a week.